Right and wrong?

This is a post that I have been meaning to write since I began this journey. The meaning of right and wrong is really one of the major reasons I decided to go on this trip.


Over the past two years ago, a chain of events have turned my world upside down, and I early on I began questioning everything I knew and believed in. I started asking myself questions: Was my idea of right and wrong the right one? How could other people differ in their definition of those same words? Why did people not think the same as me? How could people do wrong by others and think it was right? Was there a different way of seeing the world than how I saw it? Was my definition of those two words the most suitable for me? Was my definition even mine, or had I simply adopted someoneelses definition and made it mine?


These questions swirled around in my mind like crazy. I started feeling so unsure of myself. Was anything I thought, liked, did or was really me? I didn’t know. How do you know that who you are really is because it’s who you are? And what is developed due to societal expectations, your thoughts of what others might think of you or a result of what you would like yourself to be?


How could I know what was truly me and what was a result of outside factors? I decided to start over completly. I began going through every part of my life in microscopic pieces and only kept what I discovered was my most truest self. I cleaned out interests as if I was getting rid of old clothes. I went through old friends deciding wether they gave or took more energy from me. I went through material things, clearing out what no longer suited me.


Midway through I discovered that my earlier definitions of those two words did not work well with who I truly was as a person. I realized that there is wrong, there is right AND their is a grey zone inbetween. What I also realized was that those words was missing something. I saw it as time had had the same effect on right and wrong as the game ”Whispers” have on scentences, important words fall behind and the meaning is lost in translation. I came to realize that two words were missing in direct relation to right and wrong, namely ”to me”. The question and answer should always be formed based on the inital words ”What is right/wroong to me…”.


I started describing this as ones own truth. This, however, was an incorrect use of words, since a truth can be seen as there is only one right and that is not the case either. There can be many rights and wrongs, and many shades of grey, to one person regarding the same matter. What is right to me must not be the same right to another person. And what is right for me today might not be right for me tomorrow. We change, continously, and hence so does our values on with we base our decisions. The values upon which we base our rights and wrongs.


Doing some rediscovering of myself I realized that I had built a life based on what society considered right and wrong and what I thought would be the ”perfect” definition of right and wrong. So perfect that grey was completely erased, leaving only black and white. So, for the past 4 months I have been working really hard on trusting myself, rediscovering my core values and my values for today. I have been working on not listening to other people with their rights and wrongs. And I can tell you, it is hard! Four months, and I have only come a tiny bit on a long path towards freedom. Becuase. by obeying to the rights and wrongs of others I am not living my life. And based on what I am feeling having come this far, the taste of my life is a whole lot better than what I used to have for breakfast, lunch and dinner. This gives me the opportunity to living life the way I want and really cherrish every moment. I know, sounds corny! But it is the truth as I see it, no matter how corny it sounds.


The reason I chose to share this with you is because of an interesting experience I had today. Sunday evening in Singapore and spontaneously I bought a ticket to see ”Murder on the Orient express” in the cinema. In one of the very first scenes of this film the main character states: ”There is right. There is wrong. There is no in-between.” My inital thought being: Well, this was an interesting statement. The film in its entirety revolves around the concept of right and wrong, which I did not think of choosing this perticular movie in the ticket office. But, in the closing of the mystery the main character states ”The scales of justice cannot always be equally weighed”, to me addmitting to the grey zone and the fact that there is not just ONE right and the rest wrongs. It was the perfect movie to see at this time for me, in the rediscovery of myself. Always keep in mind, it is impossible for others to know what is right and wrong for YOU!

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